February-HE's pulling me through!

As promised in last month’s blog posting, I said I would have more to comment on my spine surgery.  I also promised to stay faithful, positive, enthusiastic and hopeful for this new year.

Well, it’s time to tell the truth about my experience with the surgery.  First, I can honestly say, if it wasn’t for the Lord my God, pulling me through, I don’t think I would have survived the immediate after surgery changes in my body.  The pain was all Nerve Pain and it is the worst pain you will ever experience.  It felt like my lumbar area and entire left side was on fire 24/7!!  There were muscle spasms down my entire left side and my feet vacillated from total numbness to burning tingling and up to my leg felt like I was being burned alive from the inside!

Lightning rods were flashing from my foot to my lumbar across the lowered back 24/7!  In a word, UNBEARBLE!  I was a real chicken, a baby about it too.  I used to pride myself on having a strong tolerance for pain.  I had 4 boys, and never cried or complained during child birth.  But this!  I never experienced anything like it.  Even the strong narcotics they gave me could not back it down.  The fact that it was unrelenting in its onslaught of pain, left me very fatigued because I couldn’t sleep through it at all, and it didn’t let up the whole 3 weeks I was in rehab.

But, enough of my post-op whining!  I mentioned in my title that HE pulled me through. When I was lying in the bed crying all night, I started praying out loud asking God to remove the pain and let me heal and / or at least have rest.  When there was no immediate response, I thought about the fact that I was whining, crying, and complaining, when I should have been thanking Him for pulling me through the surgery and not getting up off that table paralyzed from the waist down or facing amputation!  When I started talking to God with a better tone of thanksgiving and gratefulness, I was able to keep my mind focused on something other than the pain (at least not all the time). 

What I praised God for is allowing me to have health care insurance, right?  About, blessing me with a church-based community of friends who were praying for me before, during and after the surgery, right?  About, blessing me with family who loves me and followed me through the surgery, after the surgery and even now, right?    About, blessing me with friends who brought food to my house already prepared because I wasn’t in any shape to care for myself when I got home, right?    

About blessing me with friends who came and stayed around the clock with me the first 3 weeks I came home from rehab and cared for me like I was their own, right?   About, loving sons, a brother, a sister and nieces who still check in on me to make sure I’m healing and making progress, right?   About healthcare that afforded 2 weeks of prepared meals sent to my home so I would have proper nourishment through Part of my recovery, right?    About caregivers who did my laundry, kept after me to take me meds when they were due, helped keep me mindful to use my walker until I got stronger and released by the doctor to go without it, right?   

About dear friends who showered me and washed and braided my hair, right?   About my sister who visited me in Rehab to brush and braid my hair and left me with pretty turbans to wear, if need be, right?    About looking at my fireplace mantel overflowing with beautiful cards stating well wishes for a full recovery, right?   I could go on and on, but I had to reflect on the goodness of God and how HE pulled me though when I was at my lowest point after surgery. 

It’s actually now near the end of March and I’m just writing this blog for February because I wasn’t strong enough to do this last month.  When I started writing this blog, I began by reminding you of the promises I made to remain enthusiastic and hopeful for this new year.  I can honestly say that I am, but only by the Grace of God and because HE is pulling me through!  My Physical Therapist says I have about 5 more weeks before I’ll be fully recovered.  And, I am enthusiastic and hopeful for this new year!

If you have had some challenges that you faced this year, yet still remain enthusiastic and hopeful, would you like to share them in this safe, secure, nonjudgmental community space for healing?  We would love to hear from you. 

God Bless You!